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The Poetry Place

Another version

Friday, 25 November 2011 09:25:27

Friday, 25 November 2011 09:25:27
Then I was tempted to shorten the lines and see how it looked / felt.  I must say I rather like it.


These I have liked, still do:
Aerial photos
of familiar places
 Maps of towns
I’ll never see
Water running
over rocks
Dew
on spiders webs

Open fires
on a dreary night
 Other people’s
bookshelves and
 The tick
of the kitchen clock

The feel
of curved carved stone
 The shine
of polished wood
A hot shower
on a cold day
 The smile
of friends at the door

 The smell
from the hotdog stall
 The expectation
of a hearty meal
 The memory
of foreign sunset, or
 An early morning view,
and you


These I have liked...

Wednesday, 23 November 2011 11:34:18

Wednesday, 23 November 2011 11:34:18

Just a few tweaks. Took out ‘eyeing’ and added an 'and' and an 'or'. Punctuation kept to a minimum; perhaps it doesn’t need any.

 

These I have liked, still do:

Aerial photos of familiar places

 Maps of towns I’ll never see

Water running over rocks

Dew on spiders' webs


Open fires on a dreary night

 Other people’s bookshelves and

 The tick of the kitchen clock

 

The feel of curved carved stone

 The shine of polished wood

A hot shower on a cold day

 The smile of friends at the door

 

 The smell from the hotdog stall

 The expectation of a hearty meal

 The memory of foreign sunset, or

 An early morning view, and you.


PS  ....and added an 'and' and an 'or'...    Try saying that quickly. Has a nice rhythm.



...and more

Tuesday, 22 November 2011 10:00:57

Tuesday, 22 November 2011 10:00:57
For some reason yesterday's blog didn't get saved. Anyway, what I was thinking was - some things which are definitely in the 'These I have liked' category are not tangible. Such as the expectation of something or the memory of something.

the expectation of a hearty meal
the memory of foreign sunset,
an early morning view, and you

So - is it time to look at the order of the list?  I think so.  First of all, I'll randomise them:

   Aerial photos of familiar places
       an early morning view, and you
   A hot shower on a cold day
dew on spiders webs
   Eyeing other people’s bookshelves
   I like The shine of polished wood
   Maps of towns I’ll never see
Open fires on a dreary night
   the expectation of a hearty meal
    the feel of curved carved stone
   the memory of foreign sunset,
   The smell from the hotdog stall
   The smile of friends at the door
   The tick of the kitchen clock
  water running over rocks

and by tomorrow I'll have some idea of how they should be grouped, whether by theme or sound or -what?


 
  





Thursday, 17 November 2011 11:17:03

Thursday, 17 November 2011 11:17:03
This is what I've got so far. I suppose it could go on for a long time.

    I like The shine of polished wood
    the feel of curved carved stone

   Eyeing other people’s bookshelves
   Open fires on a dreary night

   Aerial photos of familiar places
   Maps of towns I’ll never see

   water running over rocks
   dew on spiders webs

   A hot shower on a cold day
   The smile of friends at the door

   The tick of the kitchen clock
   The smell from the hotdog stall




These I have liked

Monday, 14 November 2011 16:07:02

Monday, 14 November 2011 16:07:02
The tick of the kitchen clock
A kettle boiling
Waking up to snow
The smell from the hotdog stall
A hot shower on a cold day
The smile of friends at the door

I just jotted down a few more things just as they came to me. I did pause to consider the way I wanted to note them down but otherwise it was a quick response to a question - what else do you like?   

As advice to pupils, I'd point out the effort to be precise and concrete here. It's the company of friends we like, or just having friends. But writing, 'meeting friends' didn't quite do it for me, whereas the moment you meet those friends again that is so special.  And it's not just snow, it's that special feeling of waking up to snow.


These I have liked

Saturday, 12 November 2011 17:42:07

Saturday, 12 November 2011 17:42:07
    I like The shine of polished wood
    the feel of curved carved stone

   Eyeing other people’s bookshelves
   Open fires on a dreary night

   Aerial photos of familiar places
   Maps of towns I’ll never see

These seem to go together:
   water running over rocks
   dew on spiders webs

I don't want to get too twee - which dew on spiders webs might tend to. Except I do like the sight of dewy webs so why shouldn't I say so? 


These I have...liked

Wednesday, 9 November 2011 16:46:30

Wednesday, 9 November 2011 16:46:30
Got to start somewhere...

    I like The shine of polished wood
    the feel of curved carved stone

Immediately I chopped these two lines out, I liked the rhythm.

I know I am susceptible to rhythm as I am to rhyme. I’m going to try and resist rhyme, even though I can see/hear it in clocks and rocks etc.  I’m not going to resist the rhythm, though – it’s one of the joys of language.

   Eyeing other people’s bookshelves
   Maps of towns I’ll never see

   Aerial photos of familiar places

   Trains and buses that depart / arrive ? on time

   Open fires on a dreary night

Some lines belong with each other:

   Eyeing other people’s bookshelves
   Open fires on a dreary night
and
   Aerial photos of familiar places
   Maps of towns I’ll never see


Back from the USA

Monday, 7 November 2011 10:56:51

Monday, 7 November 2011 10:56:51
The trouble with travel... is that there are so many stimuli that it's hard to know what to do with them. Do you focus on those which seem important or typical in some way - or on those which lend themselves to a poetic treatment? Sometimes something just suggests itself.  Other times, I have to wait, or push myself into a decision.
I've already written a sonnet on the fall foliage in Shenandoah National Park but I feel we've had enough of sonnets on these pages for a while. What did occur to me was only tangential to my trip, and inspired by the simple pleasure of a series of trains arriving on time, then recalling Brooke's 'These I have loved'.   I flung down my first thoughts as they arose.

The shine of polished wood the feel of curved carved stone rain on the roof and fire in the grate blossoms and blooms calm rooms with a view newly polished surfaces of a hearty hug all smiles bicycling down a gentle slope budding hawthorn blooming crab apple water running over rocks John Harrison clocks trees in towns aerial photos of familiar places smiles on strangers faces a car that starts first time warm soapy water other peoples bookshelves maps of cities never visited or seen trains and buses that depart on time a clever rhyme the sound of a cork being pulled dew on spiders webs

Some items, you will notice, connect themselves through topic, others through a rhyme, some from out of the big bag of memory in which we put our hand and pull out -- ?


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