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The Poetry Place

Spring 7

Friday, 20 March 2009 14:41:57

Friday, 20 March 2009 14:41:57
I've been to Paris in between the last blog and now and could not resist sitting in a cafe in Montmartre jotting lines for a poem. Pretentious? I don't care!  So it's time to finish this one (for the time being).

at this sharp end of the year
scrawny hawthorn hedges scrape a living
entwined with winter hardened briars
whose cruel barbs rasp unwary hands
and in the fields corn stubble scrapes
and scratches with its yard-broom bristles
on roadsides, frost makes grassy tussocks
pointed spears where desperate blackbirds
stab, stab hard earth beneath the
beeches' printed outlines
on sky-paper
and only
the snow
drops,
new
comers
 to the
 scene,
suggest a
softer time to come.

A lot of little changes. I've also removed most of the punctuation. I hope that doesn't make it unreadable. Spring has obviously affected me because I also felt like arranging the words in this way. Probably very silly but it's my poem, after all.




Spring 6

Tuesday, 17 March 2009 10:03:47

Tuesday, 17 March 2009 10:03:47

I think this is improving. Sometimes you just don't know where you're going with a piece of writing..   Trees needs replacing with something more specific!  I think they were, or some were, beeches but I need to look at a book of tree outlines to check.


at this sharp end of the year

scrawny hawthorn hedges scrape a living

entwined with winter hardened briars

whose cruel barbs rasp unwary hands.

And in the fields corn stubble scrapes

and scratches with its yard-broom bristles.

On roadsides, frost makes grassy tussocks pointed spears

where desperate blackbirds stab, stab hard earth

beneath trees’ stark printed outlines on white sky-paper

and only the snowdrops,  newcomers to  the scene,

suggest a softer time to come.



Monday, 16 March 2009 13:38:43

Monday, 16 March 2009 13:38:43
Continue to make small changes - and often change them back again next time...  Not sure about stunted - some of them are quite tall.

at this sharp end of the year

stunted hawthorn hedges scrape a living

entwined with winter hardened briar

whose cruel barbs rasp unwary hands.

On roadsides, frost makes grass tussocks pointed spears

and desperate blackbirds stab, stab hard earth

corn stubble scrapes and scratches with yard-broom bristles

trees stark outlines against white skies

and only the snowdrops soften the scene


becomes -


at this sharp end of the year

stunted hawthorn hedges scrape a living

entwined with winter hardened briars

whose cruel barbs rasp unwary hands.

On roadsides, frost makes grass tussocks pointed spears

and desperate blackbirds stab, stab hard earth

corn stubble scrapes and scratches with yard-broom bristles

--- trees’ stark outlines --- (replace with silhouette?) against white skies

and only the snowdrops,  ---  the scene,

suggesting softer times to come.





Thursday, 12 March 2009 11:18:18

Thursday, 12 March 2009 11:18:18

Quite a few changes. Sharp end of the year appeals, making use of a familiar phrase. Hawthorn and briar are more specific - and I'm now emphasising the sharp raw unpleasantness that this time of year can have. I think the idea of picking out all the 'sharp' words is going to go.


this is a sharp end of the year

stunted hedges scrape a living

hawthorn and briar thorns rasp the unwary hand

and frost makes of grass tussocks pointed spears

desperate blackbirds stab hard earth

corn stubble scratches ankles with yardbroom bristles

trees sharp outlines against white skies

only the snowdrops soften the scene



Spring 3

Wednesday, 11 March 2009 12:25:20

Wednesday, 11 March 2009 12:25:20

this is a sharp time of the year

hedges are stunted, thorns still sharp

frost makes of grass tussocks pointed spears

blackbirds stab

brown stubble scratches with yardbroom bristles

trees sharp outlines against white skies

only the snowdrops soften the scene


Playing around with the possibility of deliberately repeating sharp and perhaps arranging the poem so that sharp comes at regular intervals. It seems to be a unifying element at this time of year.





Spring 2

Friday, 6 March 2009 16:39:05

Friday, 6 March 2009 16:39:05
Some notes I made on my way to a school in Scarborough on Monday. They might make something - though nothing very springlike, I guess.

telegraph poles - stick trees - clear blue sky, newly washed - dry valleys - stunted hedges - trimmed one side of the road, otherwise unkempt - frost on verges - black birds but not necessarily blackbirds - ditches - brown stubble in fields beyond lik upturned yardbrooms - tractor tracks - dead leaves still hanging on - snowdrops dotted between trees - other birds, seagulls?


Spring

Wednesday, 4 March 2009 15:35:53

Wednesday, 4 March 2009 15:35:53
As I've been out and about, the writing blog has been a bit neglected. Some special sonnets had to be written, but they'll only appear here from time to time.  And yesterday and Monday I was in schools working with Y3, Y4, Y8 and Y10.  During which time we wrote lots of things, including some raps and some personal pieces.  The Y3s made a great collaborative poem about Colours for a performance they are going to do next week.  Good luck to you all - what a lovely group of kids.  If I can get a copy of their poem, or rather our poem, I'll post it on the site.  

And as soon as I get going on something of my own, I'll be back...


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