In the end, all I've done is mess around with the appearance and add another 'wait' at the end. Is this just self-indulgent? Well, maybe writing poetry can be a bit self-indulgent sometimes. It's not fattening and it doesn't use up the world's resources...
in the woods
on the edge of fields
by the river
even a picnic spot
be still and silent...
birds approach, stop, sing, chase
a squirrel, small black, inquisitive