In the end, all I've done is mess around with the appearance and add another 'wait' at the end.  Is this just self-indulgent?  Well, maybe writing poetry can be a bit self-indulgent sometimes. It's not fattening and it doesn't use up the world's resources...

in the woods
   on the edge of fields
by the river
   even a picnic spot
be still and silent...

wait

things occur
   birds approach, stop, sing, chase
leaves
            drop,

a squirrel, small black, inquisitive
noses about,

be still

be quiet

listen

wait

The first thing is to cut away where possible:

in the woods
on the edge of fields
by the river
even a picnic spot
be still and silent...
wait
things occur
birds approach, stop, sing, chase
leaves drop,
a squirrel, small black, inquisitive
noses about,
be still
be quiet
listen

Something I worry about is - structure. Does this have any kind of structure or is it just a dribble of words onto the page.  Some writers are happy with the dribble or the splurge, but it doesn't satisfy me...

Some more jottings.

in the woods on the edge of fields
by the river
if you are still and silent
things occur
even in a picnic spot
birds approach, stop, sing, chase
leaves drop, a noise in the ivy encrusted trunk
wait. a squirrel, small black, inquisitive
noses about, gets on with its business
be still be quiet
listen

I don't know if I can make anything of these or not.

I remember how after a shower of rain, when the wind blew there would be a new scattering of water as the leaves were stirred.

a waft of wind / a gust of wind - through trees creates - a second shower

This time the last line has fallen perfectly. Line 2 needs work: what kind of trees? I want them to be 2 syllable trees: 'through the something trees creates'  So what takes priority? Truth (of a prosaic kind)? The 'feel' of the completed poem? The arbitrary structure of a haiku? I wasn't even sure what kind of trees they were...

a gust of wind
through the poplar trees creates
a second shower

I don't think that these were poplar trees - but they could have been; there are lots in that area!

There seem at least ten possibilities but here are two:

in summer rain
sunflowers regard their feet
shamefaced teenagers

or reversing the order

though not to blame
sunflowers stare at their feet:
late summer rain

As soon as it's down on 'paper' there are other ways of doing it that seem equally good:

like errant children
sunflowers stare at their toes
late summer rain

One can keep on endlessly perhaps. So I'll stop that image and move onto another.

I'm thinking about the attitude of the sunflowers now. Various phrases come to mind (or to the minds of other people I've asked)....  these include:

like sheepish penitents    shamefaced teenagers   as if rebuked  

I rather like the last of these. So:

as if rebuked
sunflowers look at their feet
late summer rain

The central line by happy coincidence, has 7 syllables. The third line can easily, if I wish, become 5 - e.g. late summer showers; late summer rainfall. But what of line 1?  Do I use like shamefaced teenagers?

As well as a brief trip to Donegal, we spent some time in France and so I would like to continue the theme of writing from notes accumulated from travel. 

I shall start with an observation which becomes a statement:

The sunflowers are looking at their feet. 

Immediately I'm aware of options: to bring out the posture of the sunflowers, I might insert 'ashamed' after the noun; looking might be staring; are looking / are staring might be look/looked/were looking/stare/stared/were staring and other options also occur for ashamed: as if ashamed makes it more obvious.  Rebuked, tired and sad are other possibilities.

Where or why is important, too. A reason for their demeanour - it was / had been raining.  Are we on the way to a haiku here?